Swearing around the Kids? What?

Shame on you! (And me about 25 years ago)


An open letter to the masses.

Dear Everyone,

As I age there are certain things that start to annoy me a lot more than they use too. I’m well on my way to being that crotchety old man that lives next door and tells you to “Get off my lawn you kids, or I’ll call the cops!”

This week after hearing a group of kids in one of our local stores here in town belt out more swear words in a minute then I had ever heard before, I decided we need to clarify some things about swearing.

One thing that I have been noticing lately is the blatant use of swear words in today’s society. It’s taken all the fun out of the well placed swear word. Things like “Frankly Scarlet, I don’t give a damn”! Or maybe a nice relaxing AC/DC song like “Highway to Hell” have become minor players in the big world of major swear words.

Let me explain. On every TV reality show, the amount of “beeps” you hear is starting to out-number the actual dialogue on the show.

I was shocked by a recent article that claims that teenagers use curse words 80 to 90 times per day on average. * In some of the inner-city schools, it has become a regular part of the daily language to the point where it’s almost accepted as the norm. Now just let me say I’m not blaming the teenagers only. We all can belt out a barrage of swear words. Sometimes, it seems appropriate. For example, no matter how hard I try, when I hit my thumb with a hammer I can’t seem to censor my language. Fiddlesticks just doesn’t cut it.

You can find yourself on the receiving end of quite a bouquet of curse words if you accidentally cut someone off in traffic. And those swear words can also come with visual aids involving certain well defined, extended digits.

I’m a purist when it comes to swearing. I don’t believe in swearing around the kids and I try hard to keep that rule in check. It doesn’t always work though.

What I don’t like is the incredible overuse of the “F-bomb”. This word should never be used in casual conversation. It is the “Mother” of all swears and should only be used if you cut somebody part off with a circular saw. The amount of times you use said word is in direct proportion to the number of things you cut off or the area that said part was removed from. Other than that, there have been only twelve times in history when the “F” bomb was
considered acceptable for use.
They are as follows:
12. “What the @#$% do you mean, we’re sinking?”–Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
11. “What the @#$% was that!?”–Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945
10. “Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?”–Custer, 1877
9. “Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that.”–Einstein, 1938
8. “It does so @#$%ing look like her!”–Picasso, 1926
7. “How the @#$% did you work that out?”– Pythagoras, Greek Mathematician 126 BC
6. “You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?” — Michelangelo, 1566!
5. “Where the @#$% are we?” –Amelia Earhart, 1937
4. “Scattered @#$%ing showers, my butt!” — Noah, 4314 BC
3. “Aw c’mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?” Bill Clinton, 1998
2. “What do you mean there’s no @#$%ing key to my ankle bracelet?” –Martha Stewart, 2005
1. “Geez, I didn’t think they’d get this @%#$%ing mad.” — Saddam Hussein, 2003


Other than that, let’s limit the amount of swearing. It’s starting to get on my @#$%ing nerves!

Love and Kisses,



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